As you probably know by now, I’m not good at obituaries. I generally don’t know what to say, and I also think there’s a major cultural disconnect between the UK and US in this area, so I often end up saying nothing rather than sound stupid or offensive. But I’m going to make an exception for Frank Darcy.
I’m not sure that I ever met Frank, though we may well have been at a convention together at some time. I did, however, know him through the Internet. Quite a few people I know have been struggling with cancer of late. Some, thankfully, have beaten the disease. Frank lost his battle this morning. But along the way he showed amazing bravery and good heart, in particular by starting the Toast to Life project. And as I consequence Frank became one of those people that I would very much have liked to meet. Now I won’t get the chance. Sometimes life gets you like that. But hopefully Frank’s good example will have inspired other people. And when it is my turn to go I hope to do so with the same amount of good cheer and concern for others.
“and I also think there’s a major cultural disconnect between the UK and US in this area,”
A bit of elaboration on that might be interesting.
Well, as you know, we Brits are notoriously reserved. We tend not to get emotional about things in public. Consequently, when we see other people get emotional about something in a situation where we would not do so, we can get the impression that they are somehow putting it on for effect. Now I’ve lived in enough different countries to know that this is normally just cultural, but it still makes me uncomfortable. A death is an occasion when you very much want to act in a socially appropriate manner, and Goddess knows there are enough misunderstandings online as it is, in far less touchy circumstances. I tend to assume that saying nothing is the best way to avoid causing offense.