I should confess a bias here. I am, and always will be, #TeamLana. Even if she makes crappy movies, she still gets to make movies, and for girls like us that’s a jaw-dropping achievement.

Having said that, it is very clear that in Jupiter Ascending Lana and Andy Wachowski have set out to make the biggest, daftest, most spectacular piece of opera ever to grace an intergalactic stage. It has a plot with more holes than Blackburn, Lancashire; it has villains with a penchant for Victorian melodrama; it has action scenes that are way too long (and in any case designed to be viewed in 3D which would make me ill); and is has a soppy, romantic story of a girl and her puppy. Most of all, however, it has panoramas like the one above. If you want to see that in full size you can do so here.

Oh, and it has spaceships to die for. And costumes. I want whoever did the dresses for that movie working for me if I ever have to go to another award ceremony.

A few other things.

I want that flying motorbike thing.

Nikki Amuka-Bird totally steals the show as Captain Tsing.

The heroine is an illegal immigrant to the USA from Russia, and the villains are all greedy capitalists.

SEAN BEAN!!!

The Pygar moment at the end.

Jupiter Ascending is a very silly, very fun movie. I want to see it again, and next time I want Kevin with me.