Nice wheels, love!
Well, thank goodness that’s over.
I’m not a big fan of celebrity culture. I’m not entirely sure what a Kardashian is. But, as a trans woman, I have found the Jenner saga all over my social media feeds for months. Now at last we seem to have some clarity.
Caitlyn Jenner arrived in the world through a cover and big photo spread in Vanity Fair. She looks great, and very content. She can, we hope, look forward to being happy ever after, just like the best fairy tale princesses. I’m really pleased for her.
What her sudden transformation means for the rest of the trans community is less certain. On the one hand, all publicity is good publicity. Jenner is keeping trans issues in the news, and forcing people to confront their thoughts, prejudices and misconceptions about us. If Jenner’s million-plus followers on Twitter translates into more public sympathy for trans people, I’m all for it.
It is important to remember, however, that Jenner’s story is by no means typical. Little more than a month has passed since the confessional ABC interview with Diane Sawyer, in which Jenner was still presenting as male. Now we see her in glamour shots looking a damn sight better than the average 65-year-old woman. This sort of transformation does not, and cannot, happen for everyone.
Jenner’s transition appears to have been very carefully stage-managed, probably with the help of talented PR people. She will also have had access to the best surgery money can buy, and to expert stylists. There may even have been a bit of photoshop involved. I mean, what glamour shoot in magazines isn’t touched up these days?
In reality, gender transition is a long and drawn out process. Even Lana Wachowski, with all of her money, spent a long time out of the public eye while going through it. From start of hormone therapy to final surgery took me five years. That was actually quite quick, because like Jenner I was able to afford private treatment. Those stuck on NHS waiting lists don’t get the same privileged access.
So if you happen to know someone who announces that they will be undergoing gender transition, please don’t expect an overnight transformation. It will take a long time, and they’ll need a lot of support along the way.
They almost certainly won’t come out of it looking like Jenner either. I mean, how many 65-year-old women do you know who look that good? Would I love to be that glamorous? You bet I would! Is it likely to happen without a massive lottery win that I can spend on cosmetic surgery (and an end to my chocolate habit)? Not a hope in hell.
Trans girls who access treatment before puberty stand a very good chance of looking beautiful, and there will always be a few like April Ashley for whom glamour seems effortless. For most of us who have been through the horror of male puberty, however, beauty is seriously hard work.
Nor should it be a requirement. Firstly, no matter what the advertising business tells us, being beautiful is not a pre-requisite of being female. Most of us can and do get on with our lives perfectly well without film star looks. There’s no more reason to require a trans woman to be beautiful than any other woman. Nor does everyone care. Being glamorous clearly appeals to Jenner, and it does to me as well, but I know plenty of women — trans and otherwise — who are perfectly happy with short hair, no makeup, jeans and a t-shirt.
The point about beauty is that it is an optional extra. Some women are lucky enough to get it for free, some are able to buy it, and some don’t particularly want it. Lack of it, however, does not make you any less of a woman. So while I would like to be more beautiful, lack of beauty is a minor issue compared to where I have come from. Being able to live my life as a woman is such an enormous step forward from where I was before that it seems a bit churlish to ask for anything more. Of course I’d take it if I had the opportunity, but I already have something far more valuable, the ability to be me. I suspect that if you asked Caitlyn Jenner she’d say that was more important to her as well.
I looked at it and thought “Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.” If you transition and look beautiful, then it’s somehow ‘unfair’ to other women who aren’t beautiful that a trans woman is beautiful. If you don’t look beautiful, then that’s you trying to pass and you’ll never do it as it’s ‘obvious’ you’re not a woman as you’re not beautiful.
Of course, all ‘real’ women are beautiful.
*sigh*
Of course it helps to have been an Olympic athlete, and to have money, and photo-shop.
It helps more to be comfortable in your skin. All women, and most men, have to come to terms with not having the ‘perfect’ body. As that doesn’t exist.
There’s just loving yourself and accepting yourself and seeing your own beauty. Something many people never get too, ever.
A Fat Girl Speaks. And Smiles. And is beautiful. 😉
It’s actually worse than that. If you look beautiful then you are conforming to gender stereotypes, reinforcing the binary, and suffering from “autogynephilia”. If you don’t look beautiful it is proof that you are “really” a man, have no idea how to be a real woman, and have ruined your life by failing in your transition.
Can’t Win. Can’t Break Even. Can’t Get Out Of The Game.