In catch-up mode here, I present the Drabble that I wrote for the Frank Darcy Award at this year’s P-Con. It didn’t win, because it isn’t funny. (Julian — you are going to publish your somewhere, right?) Nevertheless it is writing so I figure I should share it.
Treasure trove
It was in the senior common room at Kings that I first heard Farnsworth tell the story of the elephant. His father had bought it in Zanzibar — shipped it home — a wooden ornamental table with an animal base; hell to dust. His mother had hated it.
On buying a home of his own, Farnsworth offered to take it away. The removal men dropped it, breaking off the table top and revealing the map; revealing so much more: the tombs of the Zimbabwe emperors; the unmistakable evidence of alien visitation.
“Does your mother still hate it? I asked
“More than ever.â€
That, by the way, was based on an actual piece of furniture that I once owned.
Mine should be up on the P-Con website – I am assured.
I did several non-funny ones – some of which weren’t supposed to be funny, some of which were. My tactic has been expressly forbidden by the organisers of the Real Fear competition – rightly fearing that I would flood their office with dozens of entries.
It’s only not-funny because it’s true. There are some items on this planet that wouldn’t be appreciated even if they did contain the Eighth Wonder of the World…and some people who wouldn’t appreciate the Eighth Wonder of the World, regardless of its container.
Wonderfully done.