I have reported before about the attempts of the House of Lords to save the unfortunate British red squirrel from Evil American Immigrants. Now, however, there seems to have been an escalation in the squirrel wars. A new breed of mutant black-furred gray squirrels is expanding across south-east England, wiping out the grays as they go. Money shot:

They have higher testosterone levels, which is thought to make them more domineering and territorial, while their colouring makes them more attractive to female greys.

There are just so many ways the tabloids are going to get inappropriate and offensive over this. However, perhaps their Lordships will save the day by suggesting a campaign to dose the black squirrels with estrogen.