This week the UK media is full of stories about how aggressive gays will be sneaking into your bedroom at night to wreck your marriage, corrupt your kids, turn your wife into a feminist, force you to marry your dog, and otherwise promote their evil agenda, at the behest of the masters in Brussels. Will no one think of the rich, white, cis, straight Englishmen? Surely they are the most put upon minority in the country.

On the bright side, Norman Tebbit has clearly been watching too much Doctor Who.

All of this, however, pales into insignificance to what will be going on in Bristol over the next few days. If you want to see aggressive homosexuals, we have hundreds of them. The city will be playing host to the 2013 Union Cup, the European Gay Rugby championships.

Let me say that again. European. Gay. Rugby. Championships.

So yes, this weekend around 500 gay rugby players and their fans will descend upon Bristol from all over Europe. There’s a grand opening ceremony on Thursday evening, and two full days of competition on Friday and Saturday. The official broadcast partners of the event are Shout Out, and guess who is helping cover the event for them?

OK, I know they are all gay. But that just means I get to spend the weekend with a bunch of super-fit guys without Kevin having to worry. It’s perfect. I will, of course, be cheering for our local heroes, the Bristol Bisons, though I may also find time to encourage the Cardiff Lions. My parents always wanted me to play rugby for Wales, and I am a serious disappointment to them in that regard, but this weekend I get to make my debut as a rugby commentator. I’m pretty happy about that.

Sorry, what was that, boys? Yes, of course there is a calendar.