Forget the cricket. That’s just sport, after all. And us Poms seem to rather enjoy losing (though we much prefer losing to West Indies). No, this is something much more serious: whisky.

Last week an Australian whisky was named the best single malt whisky in the world.

Huge congratulations to the Sullivan’s Cove company. I’d say I was looking forward to trying it, but since the Sydney Morning Herald trumpeted the news my friends in Australia tell me that bottles have vanished from the shelves (mostly to re-appear soon after on eBay).

By the way, SMH, I’m afraid I can no longer read the phrase, “puts Tasmania on the map”, without collapsing into giggles.

Scotland: I hope you will step up to the plate here. I entirely understand that jettisoning the embarrassing English people that you so foolishly annexed in 1603 is taking up a lot of your time, but surely this stain on your national honor cannot go unavenged? Being beaten by the Japanese is one thing, but by Australians, really?