The Heineken Cup, the top tournament in European rugby, is now only a little over a week away. Over on Sky Sports, Stuart and Dewi have been looking into the form of the French sides. And the word from across the Channel is that Stade Francais, the over-paid glamor boys of world rugby, are finally living up to their talent. What is the cause of this miraculous turn-around in form? Well, it just might be the “boy named Sue” sydrome.

You see, there is a hierarchy in ball games. Soccer players wear their hair long and spend lots of time kissing each other after a goal. Gridiron players wear lots of armor so that they don’t get hurt. But rugby is a seriously macho game. You can tell veteran rugby players from their scars and broken noses and missing ears. It is, after all, a sport in which jumping up and down on your opponents is legal. If you show any sign of weakness, you have to go out there and perform or risk getting laughed at. And so, some genius coach in Paris decided that the right thing to do was get their boys playing ruby wearing pink orchids.

Quick, someone tell Al Davis. I mean, it can’t possible make the Raiders any worse, can it?