So the Rapture didn’t happen on Saturday, but apparently that’s because we all got the date wrong. Actually it will be in October. I guess that means there is plenty more time for gullible people to give their money away so that prophets can live in luxury. But there’s something very significant about the new date: it is Hal Duncan’s birthday. And on Twitter this morning THE Sodomite!!! suggested that would be a great excuse for a huge party. Well, every party needs music, and it so happens that there is a very fine piece of music that already deals with the right sort of themes. So I, er, adapted it a little.
(With apologies to Prince)
Well the gays have gone and done it,
We hear the prophets say.
The Almighty’s lost his patience,
He’s calling Judgment Day.
The Saved think they’ll be Raptured,
But honey we don’t mind;
Life will be so much better
For those who’re Left Behind.
The world will soon be over,
They all say they’ve read the signs.
So tonight we’re gonna party
Like it’s Armageddon time.
You wouldn’t think it mattered
If two guys fall in love,
Its not the sort of thing to bring
Destruction from above.
And if you find the idea
Doesn’t get you all uptight
We invite you, come and join us
For a party through the night.
[chorus]
A little gender bending
Shouldn’t frighten people so
When war, disease and hunger
Are the things we need to go.
If you want the world to end
Because a guy has worn a dress
Then we’re better off without you
‘Cos your head is in a mess.
[chorus]
So come on everybody,
The party’s just begun.
If the fundies will not join us
Then they’ll miss out on the fun.
Nor will they go to Heaven,
They’ll find they’ve missed the bus.
‘Cos God is not a bigot,
She’ll be dancing here with us.
[chorus]
And for us Jews, the new day is on Simchat Torah, which is one of the fun holidays. That totally blows.
And when will the mp3 be available in the Wizard’s Tower e-store? 🙂
You have clearly never heard me sing. 🙁
I think an anti-rapture party on the date would be entirely appropriate.
‘Hell No! We won’t go!’