On Twitter today Adam Roberts did a brief Muppets pastiche of The Silmarilion. You can find it here. While Tolkien definitely needs the Muppet treatment, I think it would be far more fun for them to do Lovecraft. It practically writes itself. Fellow mere humans, I present, The Muppet Mythos:
Staring
- Kermit the Frog as Robert Olmstead
- Beaker as Herbert West
- Gonzo as Randolph Carter
- Sam the Eagle as the Chief Cultist
- and presenting Miss Piggy as the Femme Fatal
Female Chorus
“It’s time to start the chanting
It’s time to speak the rites
It’s time to worship Dagon in old Innsmouth Town tonight”
Male Chorus
“It’s time to wear monks’s habits
It’s time to douse the lights
It’s time to do black magic in old Innsmouth Town tonight”
Stadler
“Why do we always come here?”
Waldorf
“I guess we’ll never know”
Stadler
“We always end up tortured”
Both
“By beasts from down below”
They are dragged off by Deep Ones
Kermit
“To introduce our guest star
That’s what I’m here to do
So it really makes me happy
To introduce to you…”
Cthulhu rises from R’lyeh.
Everyone runs away screaming.