There are many ways in which life is easier for trans kids these days. Of course there are ways it is harder too. I don’t know if I would have survived going through school as trans. But I could have avoided male puberty that way, which is an enormous incentive. It’s all about choices. What medical intervention do you want to risk? What can you afford? What are the payoffs? Some decisions are hard, and some are easy. If I were a teenager now I would be saving every penny I had for this.
It’s probably just as well I didn’t have the option, of course. I suspect I would have made a dreadful mother.
(Oh, and please don’t tell me that people with XY chromosomes can’t bear children. They can, and they have.)
I thought of you the second the news item came on the radio. Then I thought of me and dismissed it as it was too late for me. Besides, I have one child so they wouldn’t consider me. I was too old for any help on the NHS when I really wanted another child, desperately. If we won the lottery I’d be at the fertility clinic in a flash.
I always thought I’d make a terrible mother. Turns out I make a great one, as being so much older (43) when I gave birth, meant I just went with the flow rather than tried to be a Great Mother. I aimed for Good Enough, and I hope that’s what I’ve achieved. Women with their own lives and attitude tend to make Good enough mothers: I suspect you’d have been a great one.
Infertility is a horror. Having never thought I’d ever want to be a mother, and becoming one in a miracle way that no one can quite explain, doesn’t take away the grief of not being able to conceive and carry to term again.
It’s still a loss. A terrible loss. So from one infertile woman to another… *hug*
Thanks. Hugs back at ya.
Of course it would all be so much easier if there wasn’t so much nonsense about not being a “real” woman unless you have kids.
Given that I never wanted kids, I’d been dealing with that all my life. I genuinely thought I wasn’t grown up enough to have kids. The thought filled me with horror – I’d have to get up EVERY MORNING.
Motherhood: you never know. I know women who were desperate to have kids and don’t like them, and hate being a mother the moment it happens. Others who never thought they’d be good enough who are wonderful Mums and really happy being a Mum.
Maternal feminism, it’s a huge issue. The whole essence of patriarchal conflict is that you need to have those nasty women around to birth your sons and future. Bit of a conflict there. The dangers of mothers being ‘too close’ to their sons.. argh, run and lock the gates.
Motherhood is a feminist minefield, in all directions. With kids, without kids: it’s all society and culture telling you what a ‘real’ mother is.
Thankfully, it’s a lot of fun too, so you get to ride over all that shite, usually.
The one thing about being a woman you can guarantee: somebody gonna claim you ain’t real enough.
I like what Helen Mirren says about this. Now she’s older, she wishes she’d said ‘fuck off’ more often when she was younger. Go Helen! 🙂
I spotted Brianna Wu trying to define White Feminism on Twitter today. I was tempted to offer, “feminism that is all about policing other women’s behavior”.
Word.